Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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