you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
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