I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
