i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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