Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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