if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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