Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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