I wanna passion pit in your ass
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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