Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
