If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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