Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
