Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
