She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
