The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
