The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
