Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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