Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
