Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Randomize
