Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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