wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
