elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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