I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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