Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
