one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
