If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
