everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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