so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
