So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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