Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.