Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.

(804): View more from Virginia

He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.

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(804): omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh. (804): He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis. http://tfl.nu/8njp

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.

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(902): perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/cheb

Replies (14) Good night (3211) Bad night (617)
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(630): View more from Illinois

We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.

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(630): We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed. http://tfl.nu/qpmm

Replies (101) Good night (30982) Bad night (4926)
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(410): View more from Maryland

He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

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(410): He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week. http://tfl.nu/7fuh

Replies (62) Good night (7495) Bad night (1568)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.

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(603): did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless. http://tfl.nu/v4st

Replies (9) Good night (6020) Bad night (1281)
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(703): View more from Virginia

i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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(703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.

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(717): We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt. http://tfl.nu/sjgj

Replies (11) Good night (1977) Bad night (947)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.

(720): View more from Colorado

Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?

(303): View more from Colorado

my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are

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(303): I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned. (720): Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed? (303): my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are http://tfl.nu/22n0

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace

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(780): No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace http://tfl.nu/va4a

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(708): View more from Illinois

If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later

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(708): If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later http://tfl.nu/o4md

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.

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(920): YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF. http://tfl.nu/pvmt

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(503): View more from Oregon

I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x

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(503): I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x http://tfl.nu/uq2x

Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (361)
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(253): View more from Washington

He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.

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(253): He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/0nhv

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do

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(508): Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do http://tfl.nu/ic6g

Replies (2) Good night (666) Bad night (325)
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(323): View more from California

Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Sure lol what's that?

(323): View more from California

Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why?

(323): View more from California

Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (315)