Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.