remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My hand turned me down
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.