u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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