I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Success! We fucked roommates!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
