well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
