im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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