Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
oh god the rape fog is back!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
