The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
