And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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