oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
