I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
