Nicole vs. Life
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
