I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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