Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize