I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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