well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
