I just saw a hot homeless man
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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