Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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