Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
