so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
