Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
