Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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