I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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