with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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