naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
