Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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