My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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